i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
