They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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