He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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