I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She bit a glass in half.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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