wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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