dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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