soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
