Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Your tits are I can't wait for
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
she looked like the before picture.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
