she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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