Christians are straight up FREAKS
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
