i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
