You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
