we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
