I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
