There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
This is the high leading the old right now
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Everyone says I win the strip club
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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