I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
