And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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