He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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