It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
Randomize