i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
