it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
