yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
