garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
