Your mouth is God's brothel.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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