just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
