it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
