dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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