Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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