youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
