I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
