Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
