Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
How naked do you want me to be?
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