i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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