I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
