we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
this boner is exhausting
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
It's shark week go big or go home
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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