I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
