she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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