Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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