She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
