Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
