Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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