Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
