Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
