if only i could text you this smell
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
