Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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