You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
wow bdsm is so cute
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