Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
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