Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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