Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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