my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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