If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize