He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
