The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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