i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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