let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
