It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
