you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Let's get the cat blown out
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize