he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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