final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Terrible idea I love it
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
