Dual....:-)
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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